getting old

(No, my mug doesn't look like this, but I am starting see those little silver gray hairs growing from my chin.)

At 34, I'm hardly ready to retire, grab a walker, and start pouring buttermilk over my cereal. But don't get it twisted, each day I wake up, I'm reminded that I'm definitely getting older.

The most immediate way you know you're getting older is your body. First off, the metabolism slows down. You find yourself being forced to make smarter choices about the foods you eat. Not only what, but when. Too many carbs after 9 o'clock will have your mid section on some "please don't pinch me" sh*t. Matter of fact, way too many of my friends are walking around with "dick-do's". You know, their stomachs stick out further than their dicks' do. Well, I ain't with that. Therefore a lot of the foods I used to eat, have been pretty much taken out of my diet altogether. Now I find myself playing the substitute game. Fish instead of fried chicken. Red wine instead of beer. Wheat thins instead of potato chips. The list goes on and on. Also, for me, working out used to be all about competition. If you saw me running four or five miles, or lifting weights, it was so I could have that edge when I stepped on the track for a race. If I was doing hundreds of sit ups, it was so I'd feel strong when playing basketball. Now working out is simply about being healthy and looking good. I don't know about you, but for me, that takes all the fun out of it. Oh and did I mention the aches and pains. All those years of running high hurdles in high school and college have caught up with me. My knees constantly hurt, and when they don't, it's a tight hamstring, or a back ache. And to think, your 30's are supposed to be the PRIME of your life.

Another sure way you know you're getting older is when your peers start to die from health related illnesses. I've had a high school friend die of asthma, a cousin die of a heart attack, and a work colleague die of cancer. Each one of these people were younger than 41 when they died, which scares the hell out of me. It's one thing when people die from unforseen accidents, but when people your age start to die from health problems, you know you're not a kid anymore. It forces you to maximize the moment, and question your rituals. My philosophy is, if I want to be here, I have to act like it. So yes, I go see my doctor every six months or so, no excuses. I also try not to live an exteme lifestyle. I don't smoke. I drink, but I never binge drink like I did in my twenties. And I refuse to carry around uneccesary pounds. High blood pressure and diabetes are real killers than can sneak up on any of us. So it's time we all start watching our backs before we get got.

Here's another thing. I'm beginning to notice something that I truly hate to admit. Me and the people around me are becoming conservative. Damn, it even hurts to type that. When I say conservative, I definitely ain't talking about wilding out and joining the Republican Party, or nothing remotely close. But on a Friday or Saturday nights, I no longer feel the NEED to go out. Matter of fact, I tend to enjoy staying in more. It used to be all about the party or the club. Now it's all about ON DEMAND movies, a book, thinking, writing, or snuggle time with that special someone. All that stuff we used to see on tv that we thought was corny, you know, people sitting around the house sipping wine talking with jazz playing in the background... Well, that has become my reality. Not to say I don't enjoy live music or checking out a hip hop set with the best of them. But for the most part, I'm a lot more mellow. And I spend a lot more time chilling than I ever have before. I still get riled up by things in the news, but the way I handle it is different. I sit back and critically think about issues BEFORE I react to them emotionally. My temperment isn't as fiery, and instead of cursing out managers when I get bad service places, I write well written letters, and threaten boycotts. Believe it or not, it's so much more effective than all that energy I used to waste. At family events I find myself yelling at the kids, "slow your ass down in the house, this ain't no gym!" Now tell me that doesn't sound like an old person. Oh yeah, this is a sure give away to let you know you're getting old. Ever been sitting around and found these words coming out of your mouth, "it was different when I was a kid". Man, I hear my friends say this kind of stuff all the time when we talk about hip hop and or the youngsters. See, I'm not alone, YOU'RE getting old too!!!!

So what does it all really mean? Well, as we get older, so do our parents. This means we not only have to deal with our mortality, but their's as well. Many of us have already seen our parents go before us. Those of us like myself, who are blessed enough to still have their folks, will have to deal with the slow demise of our parents health over the next twenty or so years. It's part of life, it happens. Hopefully we've taken the best from them, and the elders who came before them, so we'll have plenty of amunition to feed the younger generation with. Ultimately, there's really nothing wrong with getting older. Well, as long as we continue to get wiser as well. One luv.