happy mother's day

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." - teneva jordan

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up from a very intense nightmare sweating and screaming. I must of eaten too late, something I rarely do. Anyway, in that moment when I woke up startled, I sounded like a five year old kid screaming out one of the world's most famous words. "Mommaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." After I got my bearings, I quickly started smiling. I found it odd, here I am a 35 year old man, six foot two, 225 pounds; yet who do I scream for in a subconscious moment of terror? Momma.

Mom, momma, mi-ma, my dear, whatever you call your mother, she stays with you. She is the standard bearer. No one's touch is as welcoming, no one's voice is as comforting. You could eat the food of a well renowned chef and you'd still walk away thinking, "that was good, but not as good as momma's". The attributes by which a man search for a woman are derived directly from mom. The woman young girls want to be is typically the woman their mother is. And even with those who have had strained relationships with their mothers, the connection to the best of who their mother is is undeniable.

My favorite mom story happened one Christmas, I think I was ten years old. One of my Christmas gifts was a pair of navy blue corduroy pants. When I tried them on, they fit perfect in the waist, but were a little long. In my eyes, they looked like bell bottoms. My mom quickly calmed my uneasiness about the length, being the sewing machine whiz that she is, she promised to hem them up when she had time. Well, I guess she was one busy woman, cause when Christmas break ended, my pants still weren't hemmed. MInd you, this was January 1983, when Michael Jackson had people wearing pants borderline high water, so my sense of style was definitely a bit tainted. As I laid my clothes out to go to school, she ducked her head in my room. I had my brand new sweater laid out on the bed with a pair of my favorite old jeans. "You're a mess, don't wear them old jeans with your sweater, wear your new corduroys", she calmly said. I huffed and puffed, "but you ain't hem them yet, they look like bell bottoms". In typical black mother fashion she quickly snapped back, "you wearing them". And that was that. As I got dressed, I could hear the voices of the kids who were going to tease me all day long, and it saddened me. What did my little conniving butt do? I snuck out the side door of the house and put my jeans on the side of the house. As I walked out the door to walk to school, my parents drove by me and waved as they left for work. The minute the car turned the corner, I ran back to the side of the house and put my jeans on. What did I do with my good pants? Instead of taking them back inside, I proceeded to quickly stuff them in a bush. Yeah, a real Theodore Cleaver move, I know.

Anyway, I had a great day at school, I'm walking home, and suddenly I see my mother's car go driving by and she hits the horn. I froze. "Uh oh". Then I took off running, trying to get to the side of the house to put my corduroys back on. Too late, she had already seen me. As I got to the house, she was standing in the driveway fuming. She stared at my jeans and asked where were the pants that I had been told to wear. That's when I pointed to a bush on the side of the house. She looked very confused. Then I proceeded to dig inside a bush and pull out my brand new pants. Ohhhhhh, the ass whuppin that followed. Now I know you're wondering, out of all the beautiful moments I've had with my mother, why would I pick that one? Well, that moment was one of many defining moments when my mom said literally or with her actions, "I'm your momma, not your friend". See, people fall out and lose respect for friends all the time. Friends come and go. None of that is even an option with your momma. Your momma just is, whether you like it or not. Her presence is concrete, not plexiglass. So I'm glad she made the choice to be my momma and not my friend. I respect and love her for that.

Besides knowing when to be stern, she has also known when to show compassion, give guidance, show support, inspire, comfort, and share wisdom, all while showing unwavering love. By the way, I ended up having to wear those long ass pants the very next day. And yes, I was teased profusely. But believe me, the teasing in no way compared to the hurt and disappointment I felt by pissing off my momma.

The distance between child and parent never changes, no matter how old, educated, or rich you become. Mom is and always will be Mom. So on this day when we celebrate moms and motherhood, take a moment to show some love to the mother you have, reflect on the mom you had, or contemplate the kind of mom you or someone you love hopes to be. The future of the world lies in the hands of our children, and the strong, nurturing, deeply influential women that will bring them into this world. Thank you Moms. Happy Mother's Day. One luv.