"Dude, you know I hit that right."
"Ole girl? For real?"
"Oh hell yeah, killed that sh*t all night long. She a freak too..... Oh yeah, don't tell nobody."
Just like that, a bootie lie is born. We all know what a bootie lie is. I never heard more booties lies in my life than in the high school locker room. Something about testosterone concentrated in one place tends to make sex the main subject of any and every conversation. And anywhere there are men talking about sex, there are men lying about sex. No, men aren't the only ones that tell bootie lies, but men do it with such prowess that it's like we own the genre. I've seen guys tell bootie lies to seem more macho and to hide their insecurities, while others just do it to fit in and go along for the ride. What I always found amusing is, for the most part, you could always see a bootie lie a mile away.
Something about a bootie lie is always exaggerated. It's never just, "yo, I hit that". It always has elements that resemble a creative writing exercise. As if the teller of the lie is under the belief that, the more unbelievable the story is, the more they'll be forced to believe me. Instead it always has the opposite affect . Although some bootie lies will go down as some of the funniest things I've ever heard, for the most part, I look down on guys who lie about sex. I just think it's a pretty weak thing to do. I mean, anyone willing to sacrifice another person to make themself look good doesn't have much heart or integrity in my opinion. But a funny thing happens when you serve up a young man a strong dose of peer pressure. Chances are, no matter how much of an individual he is, he just may fall prone to wanting to "fit in". I should know, because once upon a time, I too told a bootie lie.
The year was 1992, second semester of my freshman year in college. I was hanging around some of the older guys and they were grilling us freshman about what girls we had slept with. Slowly they started making their way around the room, from one guy to the next asking him the same question, "who you been with". Didn't take much of a brain to figure out my turn under the microscope was coming up pretty soon. Instead of telling the truth, "I got with this senior, and that's it", I panicked. They viewed me as a leader to a lot of those dudes, different, cooler, more mature. And I did not want to disappoint. So what did I do? I told a booty lie. Not only did I mention the girl's name who I got with, I also offered up a girl who had been liking me a lot, Stacy. I think I felt like, one chic for the semester wasn't good enough for a playa-playa like myself, so I threw my homegirl under the bus. Stacy was a girl who I was cool with. We got a long great as friends, then she decided she liked me. We tried that for a minute, nothing came of it, and we went back to being homies. Why her name came out of my mouth of all people, I'll never know. But it did. And the minute those guys started going "ewwwwwww, this boy is a pimp", I knew I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
Fast forward to the LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL. Picture me in the gym playing basketball. Picture Stacy walking towards the court with three or four angry looking girls with her. I'm hooping, and Stacy yells out, "I need to talk to you". I immediately knew what time it was, but I stayed cool. "Alright, when the game is over", and I kept hooping. Soon as the game was over. I stepped to Stacy with confidence thinking, "f*ck it, just tell the truth." But somehow, the truth did not come out. She asked me had I told people I slept with her. I said "no." She said, "you sure?" I said "yes", and that was that. She then proceeded to hunt down each and every guy who was there to ask what if anything I had said about her. Till this day, I don't know if they lied for me, or told the truth. Really doesn't matter. Stacy and I never spoke again. I've actually only seen her one time since that day, about three years later. I was at a club, and before I got a chance to go up to her and apologize, she rolled her eyes and walked the other way. Dayum that hurt. Believe it or not, that bootie lie has been eating at me for 16 years. I try to live my life in a way that I don't have people out there who hate me for no reason. And it hurts me deeply to know, there is a girl who hates me for a very good reason, because I lied on her. Well, a lot of time has passed, and I think it's unhealthy for me to keep carrying the weight of that mistake with me. So as of today, I officially forgive myself for that bootie lie.
I was eighteen when I told that lie, and I did what eighteen year old boys do, I lied about sex. That doesn't make it right, but it also doesn't make it the end of the world. It's time for me to move on. As for Stacy, if you're out there reading this, or if we somehow cross paths in the future, I just want to let you know from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry for slandering your good name and throwing away our friendship over a bootie lie. I just hope enough time has passed that you finally accept my apology. One luv.
2 comments:
i finally made it over here like i said i would. you never fail to disappoint. great post.
i've always wondered why men felt the need to either exaggerate past sexual experiences, or just make them up. i guess there are a ton of reasons. it just makes me wonder, how many bootie lies i was made a part of.
great story for sure, and reminds me of why i did not tell them as i saw that happen with others. In fact, i was accused of telling one, and was able to say, and have it backed up by many others, i do not kiss and tell.
Now, in the beggining, it was pure selfishness that started that policy, i will admit, as i saw you did way better by keeping your mouth shut, but now that i'm way older, it's just the right thing to do.
Your story though, man it helps. Thanks for letting it go.
aoxomoxoa
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