made (freestyle)

made by god above
a man made to sin
feelings within him
with bullet momentum i pen'em
frown a lot
like i wasn't made for grinning
concerned, i made a serum
an anti-venom
made my fingers curl up
until i made a fist
it made me proud
red black and green ever since
lying buzzards
i made'em foes
one was my closest homie
another was the virgin who wasn't
got a cousin who ain't seen his mother
in about eight years
so i made it like we ain't cousins
made close friends
who rep for life
purchased the best one a ring
then made her my wife
i made mistakes
big red marks on my past
once lied on a friend
and said she gave me some ass
ouch
i was just a lad
it made me mad then
today it still makes me mad
i've made poems
that made me erase the pad
every chapter of my life
ain't meant to be shared
seen cold rain turn to ice
i've even seen hot lights
that made the dopest freeze up on mics
i've laughed
watching movies that the burn man made
i've made love
to slow songs sade laid
no my name ain't special
so i ain't got it made
much like most
i just want to net what i gross
made to teach
i'm yelling skin made with melanin
hardcore
don't mistake my heart for gelatin
no gun just art
and incense of sage
morphing ink into sound
playing back what i made

keep asking

"The great mass of people...will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one." - Adolf Hitler

What really happened on 9-11? I know this isn't the hottest story of the day anymore, but don't let 9-11 become old news my friends. If you do, you won't truly be able to process the events surrounding this wicked war we're fighting, and you'll be duped into accepting the long stream of lies and excuses that continue to filter from the oval office. New York magazine is keeping the issue front and center. This week, their feature article centers on the conspiracies that continue to swirl around the events surrounding September 11th. What's more revealing is, there seems to be an awful lot of truth found in what they are writing off as conspiracies. It's up to us to keep asking questions until we get the whole truth.

DO THE MATH

1) 1,800 degrees The temperature at which hydrocarbon-fueled fires max out. 2,700 degrees The temperature at which steel melts. So how did the towers weaken sufficiently to fall in such a short time--56 minutes in the case of the South Tower?

2) 19 The alleged number of terrorists who ALL were able to trick security in different locations with fake ID's and passports, and get on board airplanes with boxcutters. Plan doing something illegal with nineteen of your closest buddies. I guarantee at least ONE person will get caught.

3) 5 The number of men spotted filming the attacks the morning of 9-11 from a near by park. They were pulled over by cops near Giants Stadium. All were Israelis with ties to Mossad. Was 911 Israel's way of getting the U.S. to support them against their Muslim foes?

4) March 4th, 2001The date "Lone Gunmen", a conspiracy-themed drama on Fox, aired a show about a government plot to crash a remote-controlled 727 into the World Trade Center, as an excuse to raise the military budget. On the show, the government planned to blame the attack on a "tin-pot" dictator", who was "begging to be smart-bombed".

5) September 11th - The date the founding fathers of this nation, who were mostly Masons, opened the Constitutional Convention in 1786. The date accepted amongst theologians and scholars as the accurate birth date of Jesus Christ in 3 b.c.. The date ground was broken to build the Pentagon in 1941. The date Kissinger chose in 1973 to overthrow the Chilean government. The troubled Munich Olympic Games, in which 11 Israelis were killed by terrorists, end on this date in 1972.

6) 0 - The amount of plane debris pulled from the Pentagon attack. How does a 757 crash into a building, yet there is no black box, no wings, no engines...and where are all the bodies?

7) 58 - The number of people assumed to be on Flight 77 that allegedly crashed into the Pentagon. If no plane crashed into the Pentagon, what really happened to all those people?

8) 3 - The number of World Trade Center buildings that collapsed on 9-11. Building 7 wasn't hit by a plane, so why did it also collapse in a calculated way, much like towers 1 and 2?

9) 30 - In 1999, the armed services hit it's lowest recruitment numbers in 30 years. Just after 9-11, a huge recruitment resurgence began, and recruitment numbers were once again being met.

Something foul happened on 9-11. A lot of innocent people died on tv, and our government knows why. Something just as foul happened in New Orleans. Too many accounts of the sounds of bombs going off right before the levies broke, and lots of innocent people died on tv. We can't just accept this people. We have to keep asking....why. One.

negro pleez!!!

"Just seeing the way they performed, it kind of broke my heart though” - terrance howard (speaking about three six mafia's oscar performance of "it's hard out there on a pimp" at the oscars)

NEGRO PLEEZ!!! HOW COME IT WASN'T BREAKING YOUR HEART WHEN YOU WERE SINGING IT IN THE MOVIE?

I guess what disappoints me about Terrance's statement is that he threw Three Six Mafia under the bus when he didn't have to. I totally understand and agree with his decision not to perform the song at the Oscars. It would have been redundant, and a bad look for him, and us. Was it a bad look for us when Three Six Mafia performed it? Mos def, but that's not the point. The point is, he used that song as a vehicle to deliver a performance that garnered him mad kudos. And he embraced those kudos whole heartedly. How can you embrace that song and performance for your benefit, but then distance yourself from it, when the guys who created it perform it? To me, it was unbrotherly. And Terrance comes off as if he's trying to prove to hollywood that that song is beneath him. I just don't understand why he believes it's "art" to embrace pimpin' for a movie, but it's not "art", it's "heartbreaking" when Three Six Mafia embraces pimpin' for a song. On a certain level, for me, seeing Terrance's portrayal of a pimp held up as great acting, was just as "heartbreaking" as Three Six Mafia's performance. So for him to turn around and criticize them is mad hypocritical. How can he diss Three Six Mafia's expression, while standing proudly by his? If that image was so "hearbreaking", he wouldn't have taken the role of a pimp in the first place. But he did, $$$$$$$$$, ching-ching. So I have no problem saying NEGRO PLEEZ!

corporate cotton

"The genius of any slave system is found in the dynamics which isolate slaves from each other, obscure the reality of a common condition, and make united rebellion against the oppressor inconceivable."
- andrea dworkin

Aren't we all just share croppers, on a corporate plantation? I know, the analogy may seem a bit extreme to some, mainly because the terminology brings to mind the painful images of the black holocaust that happened right here in this country. But, there is something to be said about the relationship between you and I, corporate worker, and the corporate giant that employs us. In many ways, the dependent nature of that relationship is very much like the share cropper and the plantation owner. In the beginning, our labor earns us very small amounts of money. Just enough money to make us dependent on the existing system of things. And every day, while on the plantation, we see workers who have been working there longer than us, who are making MORE money than us. This plants the seed in our heads that if we KEEP working there, over a period of time, we too will make MORE money, maybe to the point where we can live comfortably. Meanwhile, we make a little money. So to live the life we really want to live, we use credit cards. This puts us in debt. Our debt makes us even MORE dependent on the plantation. So we invest years of our lives on the plantation, trying to gain seniority, busting our asses to be NOTICED, in hopes of being rewarded monetarily. And often times we are. According to the current standard of things, you have it going on if you make 100 grand and over, own a big foreign luxury car, a house in the suburbs, and are able to take a trip afar once or twice a year. This is the American dream, so to speak. Let's say you finally reach that American dream status where you're making plenty of money on the plantation. Enough money that you're finally able to pay off all your bills, and you're living more comfortably than you've ever lived in your life. The skinny of it all is, you're STILL more dependent than ever on the plantation. You need the plantation to maintain your NEWFOUND lifestyle. And although you're making good money, you are far from being SET for life. Not to mention, although you have put in enough time and learned the system well enough to possibly be able to run your own plantation, you don't have enough MONEY to walk away from your current plantation, to start your own. This my friends, is why way too many American are putting in 40 plus years on a job, picking corporate cotton for the man, without ever putting themselves in a position to BE the man.

America is a place where we define ourselves and each other by what we do. Status even moreso than money, becomes the determining factor that keeps us dependent on the plantation system. Think about it, there are far more people who'd love to be a top notch executive for say, a Microsoft, than there are people who'd like to be the CEO of their own really small business. Here in lies what makes the corporate plantation system so powerful. The mentality of the people! We not only love the plantation owners, we have bought into how powerful they are, and we take pride in saying we work for them. We are sold these notions at univerisities, which are really just training grounds for the plantations I speak of. Hopefully, all of you will get fed up to the point where you're willing to take a chance, or you're financially secure enough to stop picking the man's cotton, and go out, get your own field, and start picking your own. Until then, we're all nothing more than a bunch of yassuh boss'n cotton pickers. *tips hat, smiles, and shuffles along* Peace.

free throws

"Anybody can make a free throw..."
- Coach Collins (Northside Youth Association; St. Louis, circa '82)

The gym went silent. And there I was with the ball. Alone at the free throw line. Tied ballgame. (BOUNCE!) Ten years old. No. 32, like Magic. White leather Converse, like Doc. (BOUNCE!) No time on the clock. I make it, we win. I miss, overtime. (BOUNCE!) I spun the ball in my hands. Bent my knees. Stared at the goal. (RELEASE!) The minute I let it go, I knew. Even though I was ten, I knew. I knew right after the one point some odd second it took that ball, to travel from my hands, to that hoop, I'd be a completely different person. Needless to say, I was.

To this day, I have never cried as hard for anything, as I did losing that game. After going to two overtimes, we lost when my friend Michael missed a free throw that would have sent us to a third one. I don't really remember shaking hands with the opposing team. All I know is, when we finally made it back to the bench, our hearts just exploded, simultaneously, as we sprawled out all over the floor. It wasn't that slow pitiful cry either. It was that loud hurtful cry. The one where your insides convulse repeatedly every few seconds, and you catch chills, but can't catch your breath. It was a sad sight. At first, all the parents gathered around smiling, saying "awwwww", like they thought it was cute that we were crying that hard - halfway amazed kids that young actually cared about something. But after fifteen minutes had passed, we were still there. Crying tears that would flow all the way home.

My forehead rested on the cold frosty window of our car on the ride home. We ended up stopping for a cheeseburger. But I couldn't eat. Hell, I could barely breathe. I spent the rest of the weekend walking around the house with a blanket wrapped around me like I was sick. Actually, I think I pretended to be sick after that. It was the perfect excuse not to talk much, plus it made it easier to hide the heartbreak. My family loved to tease and joke around. Showing too much emotion over something as simple as a game would have made me and easy target. So I stayed in bed a lot over the next few days, eyes open, staring at the ceiling. I replayed the moment over and over. I imagined how good it would have felt had I hit that free throw. Everybody would have been screaming my name. Lifting me in the air. "Go Corey, go Corey". Every time that dream got too good, it would evaporate, right before my eyes, until all I saw was our white ceiling. Then Coach Collins's voice from practice would echoed in my head. "Bend your knees. Take your time. Anybody can make a free throw". He always said he wouldn't blame us for things we couldn't control, but free throws? Free throws were the one thing we had total control over, so we had to come through. And I hadn't. That weekend, I promised myself two things. One, I would never cry that hard over anything for the rest of my life. And two, if I was ever put in a similar position, I would not miss that free throw.

Twenty-two years later, and that missed free throw is still a huge source of inspiration for me. See, free throws are bigger than basketball for me, they always were. Free throws are simply opportunities in life, when the ball is in our hands, and we alone, have total control to decide the outcome. Every morning I get my ass out the bed and go to work, that's a made free throw. Every time I tell someone "I love you", that's a made free throw. Every day I eat right, remain a loyal friend or stay on the right track, that's a made free throw. There are so many things in life we have absolutely no control over. So the few times in life we do have an opportunity, to make good on small things, it's important we take our time, bend our knees, and make our free throws. In basketball, when you miss a free throw, you lose a game. In life, a missed free throw leads to lost love, lost income, and unfortunately, sometimes a life is lost. I was lucky enough to learn this lesson at ten. By the way, as far as basketball, I never found myself at the free throw line with no time left and a chance to win the game, ever agin. And no, I've never cried that hard since. But as far as life goes, I find myself on the free throw line every day. Knocking'em down one after another. Like Coach Collins said, anybody can do it, in fact, everybody should. I can't help but think, that every day, I'm making my former coach proud. One luv.

moment of silence

1912 - 2006



"You know, the camera is not meant just to show misery. You can show beauty with it; you can do a lot of things. You can show--with a camera you can show things that you like about the universe, things that you hate about the universe. It's capable of doing both. And I think that after nearly 85 years upon this planet that I have a right after working so hard at showing the desolation and the poverty, to show something beautiful for somebody as well. It's all there, and you've only done half the job if you don't do that. You've not really completed a task. - Gordon Parks



American Gothic - 1946



20 Nurses - 1963



Chain Gang - 1956



Ali - 1966

jobbin'

Jobbin' - actively looking for a job, while having a job; the process of making a power move to put yourself in a much better $$$$ituation.

It's been a minute since I last blogged cause I've been jobbin'. Taking flights, going to interviews, weighing the pros and cons of leaving versus staying. And man, it's been hectic. In the past two weeks I've had some pretty hot and heavy dealings with a couple of companies who made it quite obvious they had a lot of interest in me. Of course they promised me how much better things would be, and how great things would be if I came to work for them. Eventually, we all come to this point on our jobs, when we begin to question, "do these fools really know what they have in me?" And if they do, "why aren't they acting like it?" At that point, I'd advise you all to start jobbin'. For whatever reason, you are always more valuable to the next company than you are to yours. That's power. Problem is, most people are working too hard on their jobs to ever take a moment to stop, look up, and tap into that power.

Nothing reminds your current job of just how valuable you are quite like walking in and dropping off a two weeks notice on that ass. It's one of the most empowering things you'll ever do in life. And shortly afterwards, you'll see them scrambling around as you quickly begin to get treated like the most trusted valued employee in the building. Suddenly they have all these plans, new titles, and new money for you. Yet, in the back of your mind, you can't help but wonder, "where was all of this last week?" In the end, it's all business. The quicker you realize your job doesn't love you, the better. And it's not just your job, it's any job. There are only two types of people to work for in corporate America: the devil you know, and the devil you don't know. The devil you don't know will always look better, when really, he's most likely just as bad, if not worst, than the devil you know. You have history with the devil you know, and most likely, that means you have some major issues with him. But you also know what to expect from him. You know when he's lying, when he's plotting, and when something big is about to go down-- because you've already endured his worst. Ultimately, the words "great job" are an oxymoron. All jobs have drawbacks, but you live, learn, and do what you have to to get paid. For now, I'm done jobbin'. I won't get into what route I chose exactly, mainly because I don't know who reads this page, but it definitely worked out well for me. I encourage you all to do more than just complain about what you hate about your jobs. Ultimately, the only person to blame for your unhappiness is you. Quit bitching, and get out there and start jobbin'.

JOBBIN' TIPS

1) Research the industry and industry trends. See if it's a good time to make a move.

2) Update the resume ASAP.

3) Reach out to friends. Companies tend to interview people who come recommended from someone within a lot faster than they would an average Joe off the street.

4) Take many interviews. Every company has a different need, and the better you fit that need, the more you are probably worth to that company. Give yourself as many options as possible.

5) Negotiate. Stand firm on your salary demands, but don't be stupid. Allow some room to trade off certain perks, for salary.

6) Wait for the official lettter. No job is official until it's in writing. Before you start to celebrate your new job, get it in ink.

7) Resign with class. The corporate community talks. Don't burn bridges on the way out the door. Make your resignation letter very impersonal and to the point.

8) Before you accept a counter office, get it in writing. If your job doesn't want to lose you, they'll come back strong. But hold them to the same expectations as you would a new company. Make them put it in ink, before you assume it's official.

9) If no counter offer comes, or if you decide to leave anyway, make sure you've saved all your files to a zip disc before you resign. Some companies want you off the premises immediately, and won't give you a chance to remove any information from your computer. Remember, you may work on that computer, but it very much belongs to the company.

I hope this helps. Peace.